


before you snap

by leafchan15



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker is a Good Partner, Fluff, Getting Together, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Human Disaster Obi-Wan Kenobi, Idiots in Love, Jealous Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Light Angst, Lowercase, M/M, Minor Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Prophetic Visions, Protective Obi-Wan Kenobi, Song fic, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Visions, anakin., angsty anakin skywalker, instead of letting them fester, obi-wan's patience is infinate, talking things out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28899117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leafchan15/pseuds/leafchan15
Summary: while on a trip to mandalore, anakin finds himself in a dangerous situation, but rather than having to battle an enemy, he is forced to fight his own mind. luckily, obi-wan is there to help him when things go wrong.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	before you snap

**Author's Note:**

> i'm very proud of this!!! i couldn't stop writing until i finished, so anyway- *throws it*

anakin pushed through the crowd surrounding peace parks, curiosity eating away at the rational part of his brain. not that there was much rationality in him to begin with. obi-wan was off negotiating who knows what with satine, and as fun as it was to watch his master stumble over himself around her, anakin didn’t have the patience for it. so, he was left to explore on his own. 

it wasn’t a good idea in all actuality. 

but that’s how he came upon the crowd gathered around a… poet? scribe? how could anyone tell the difference when they all sounded the same? dull and lifeless from what the jedi knight experienced on tatooine. the woman dressed in cloaks hadn’t started her speech yet, leaving anakin a little more bored than he was before wandering over. 

just as he began to lose interest completely, the poet (he decided to call her) spoke above the crowd in both height and volume. 

“listen well, for what i have to say is rarer than riches,” she started with a chaste smile, flashing her sharp teeth to the listeners. she reserved herself quickly once everyone’s attention diverted to her. 

“well… clean up the dirt, there’s just more dirt to clean tomorrow.” she held up her hand, the planet’s soil caked in her fingernail. “make the bed you’ll just have to make tomorrow.” she made a wild gesture with the same hand. “clean the dishes you’ll toil with the next day.”

despite her depressing words, amusement twinkled in her eyes.

“fight the war… the same war you’ll be fighting tomorrow.”

anakin heard grunts of agreement flow through the audience like a river. her words were smooth like caramel, dripping with sugar. the crowd ate it up as though it was their last meal. he could sense it, sense it in himself even. 

“the galaxy keeps growing! we feed it off the work of our weary bones…” she smiled, but this time it was playful. captivating, even. “the galaxy doesn’t feed you, does it?” 

anakin was nodding along, unaware of his own actions, feeling as though she spoke to him personally. the poet paused for dramatics, her expression turning somber. “how much can you take?” she asked, raising her hand. “before you snap.” in rhythm, she snapped her fingers, white eyes boring into the crowd.

the jedi knight almost jumped in his skin when he thought those eyes crossed over his own. she resumed her former stance, no more playfulness in her posture, nor force. anakin only sensed a cold void radiating from her. the next time she spoke, her tone was deep, almost sorrowful.

“lying on your bed, looking at the ceiling. waiting for something to happen… and knowing all the time that you were made for something better.” 

anakin couldn’t look away, unaware of how dark his own force signature grew around him. nor did he notice how it swallowed up every word she spoke like they were the secrets of the galaxy. 

“feeling it,” she said with passion, hugging herself. “wanting it.” she reached out, her hands clasping around nothing. her eyes raged like a fire, consuming the crowd’s awe in their wake. the poet flashed a taunting grin, her presence shifting completely, throwing anakin off through the force once more. “but uh… how much can you take before you snap?” 

her eyes landed on his, drilling holes in him. anakin stepped back, fear coursing through him relentlessly. the poet flashed one more cheshire grin before turning with her robe in hand, vanishing from the physical plane as if she was never there. 

while the rest of the crowd gasped in delight and talked among themselves in happy tones, anakin began turning in on himself. he felt exposed, everything fading into white noise. he was hyperventilating, not able to ground himself in the force to prevent the upcoming mental attack. losing his footing among the crowd, flashes of red coated his vision, every breath he took coming out in harsh ventilations. 

it hurt.

pressure on his shoulder prompted him to snap his head in it’s direction. padme was there, her eyes watching him with a terrified expression. she released a blood curdling scream, anakin reaching out to comfort her on instinct. as soon as his fingertips breached her skin, she turned to ash beneath them like a delicate flower consumed by the furnace. 

there was nowhere to go, the darkness trapping anakin as it’s slave in an inescapable cell. from the shadows, his master emerged with disappointment heavy in his eyes. 

“anakin…” obi-wan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “you failed me… failed  _ us _ .” 

anakin pushed back the bile rising in his throat, trying to step away. “get out of my head,” he said, voice fake to his own ears, as if he wasn’t himself. the hate he heard wasn’t his intention, so why was it there?

obi-wan approached him, drawing his lightsaber as he’d done so many times before in battle. now his anger was aimed towards his former padawan, his gaze cutting through anakin like a knife. anakin tried to back away, but his master lunged forward with the undeniable intent to kill.

on pure instinct, anakin drew his own weapon, the lightsabers clashing in a string of hisses. in a flash of blue, anakin was sent reeling, the crimson color of his saber coming into focus. a cold sweat spread across his body. the weapon clattered to the ground, anakin’s eyes following its path. 

the shadow of a devil rested on the floor, the sharp corners of armor, a cape flowing beneath. once again, he was aware of his breathing, the slow raspy tones that sent shivers down his spine. this was him. 

he was a monster. 

anakin’s head snapped back up at the sound of footsteps, watching helplessly as obi-wan left him in the darkness. “wait!” he called, desperate. “don’t leave me!” anakin screamed into oblivion, pulling against the dark energy keeping him bound. thrashing now, he felt as though he was being sucked in the ground beneath him. anakin recognized the texture of what held him instantly. 

sand.

the one substance that he hated was going to be his doom. anakin would have laughed at the irony, that is, if his head wasn’t going under. instead there was only panic and considerable amounts of pain, mixed with a numb feeling he couldn’t quite place. as he took his last breaths, there was a shift in the force. a silent call that coaxed him out of hiding. 

“anakin.” 

obi-wan’s voice was like the calm after a storm. it washed over him, gentle waves of concern bringing anakin back to reality. 

“anakin,” he repeated, thumb brushing against his cheek. 

it was an innocent action, but anakin’s anxiety came back at lightspeed. the younger jumped back, shoving up his force shields before obi-wan could get into his head. “don't touch me,” he cried, almost falling backwards from his fast movement. “i’ll hurt you, master.”

obi-wan scoffed, giving him an exasperated look. “really, anakin,” he started in a frustrated tone. “you’re acting as though-” he stopped mid-sentence, seeing the pure fear in his former padawan’s eyes. “oh… oh anakin, i’m sorry,” he spoke softly, sending warmth through their bond. “let’s get you back to the ship.”

anakin calmed slowly, following obi-wan like he was a youngling again. what was new? he’d always done this, burdening his master with his stupid problems. so many stupid issues. 

_ stupid, stupid, stupid. _

anakin would never understand how obi-wan chose to put up with him all these years. 

the jedi knight pulled his hood over his head, hands hidden in his long sleeves. his eyes were still light sensitive, a migraine rooting itself in his head. it throbbed the entirety of their walk. with what little peace he could muster, the knight sorted his thoughts in the safety of his mental shields. unsure of himself, anakin closed off from his mentor as he had countless times before. 

emotions were never his strong suit… nor were they obi-wan’s when it mattered. sometimes anakin would lie awake pondering what caused the ever growing divide between them. time, the war, incidents better left in the past… a lot of things really. acknowledging it didn’t stop the ache in anakin’s heart.

once he entered the ship, anakin put his hood down, relief flooding through his veins. “finally,” he said, a smile disguising the rest of his fear. he turned to obi-wan, but kept his distance. “how were things with satine?” jealousy rose in the pit on his stomach on command. no stranger to the feeling, anakin treated it by keeping his shields strong. 

if only the council knew their chosen one was pining over his master. a scandal that would be. 

obi-wan met his gaze, stroking his beard in thought. “well, i suppose, but i’m afraid my focus is elsewhere.” the pointed look he gave anakin said it all. he wouldn’t be getting out of this so easily. 

“and where would that be?” he asked dumbly, turning away in retreat. “the other aspects of your trip with satine, i’m sure.” 

obi-wan’s sudden unrest let anakin know it was salt in the wound. deciding to feel guilty later, anakin took faster steps away before he had to witness his master's disappointment in him. 

“anakin.” his tone was demanding, a rare occurrence, but it let anakin know he’d gone too far. “i’m not letting you bottle this up. why won’t you let me help you?”

anakin stilled, not daring to look back. a tense silent filled the air around them. for a time, neither of them spoke, anakin spitefully staying quiet. obi-wan sighed, his footsteps growing near. once he stood in front of the younger, he used his hand to guide anakin’s chin, their eyes meeting. “you’re hurting, padawan.” 

“not a padawan…” anakin grumbled, the childish remark doing him no favors. “i’m fine.” 

“you’re not.” obi-wan was persistent, anakin able to feel how conflicted he was. “i want to know what’s going on inside your brilliant mind.” he looked away with sad eyes. “but i can’t do that if you keep shutting me out.”

anakin pulled back, tears building up in his blue eyes. it was too much. seeing obi-wan heartbroken over his cowardly actions. after hiding from his deeper feelings for so long, he became dependent on running away. from obi-wan, the force, and above all, anakin was hiding from himself. a pained noise left his throat when he couldn’t form the right words. anakin could feel the darkness all over again, his fear freezing him. this time, it didn’t get the chance to overpower him because obi-wan was there, gently using his force signature to bring him out of hiding. 

“anakin, why won’t you let me in?” he asked, anakin able to feel him tapping at his mental shields. it was a silent plea.

“you’ll hate me,” anakin answered, unable to meet obi-wan’s eyes. mentally, he added ‘more than you already do.’

“i could never hate you anakin.” his words were full of compassion.

with that, anakin knew he made a mistake… many mistakes really. he let himself turn against the one person he could really trust. the person he loved. so much time wasted worrying over things that would never happen. he mentally laughed at the irony of it all. 

“i’m sorry, master,” anakin said in a saddened tone. he sighed, lowering his head.

obi-wan cupped his face, bringing their foreheads together. “it’s going to be okay, dear one.” 

anakin let his mental shields drop, showing obi-wan everything. he let him feel the betrayal he felt when he learned obi-wan’s death was faked. the anguish that consumed him after losing his padawan. then he showed his master the visions of killing padme with a simple touch, letting him see how his own disappointed face looked before abandoning anakin to the darkness. 

afterwards, he didn’t pull away, having more to share. feelings he could never put into words, a supercut of their memories. it started the first time he’d set eyes on him, unsure and scared of the future before flashing forward to becoming his padawan. he felt a rush of adrenaline through their bond at the training sessions they shared, felt admiration at obi-wan’s patience during the times they meditated together, and finally- he felt the love he carried for the older man flow through their bond, enveloping them both in warmth. 

this was their journey, as complicated and twisted as it was, it was theirs. anakin adored it with every fiber of his being, attachments be damned. 

when they pulled away, tears stained both their faces. in that moment there was nothing else. the whole galaxy was  _ them _ . anakin laughed breathlessly, wiping his tears away. “i love you obi-wan kenobi. i always have and there’s nothing in the force that will change it.”

obi-wan searched his gaze, as if confirming it to be true. he began to smile himself, eyes full of admiration? love? anakin didn’t get the time to think about it, obi-wan pulling him down into a deep kiss. it was love and it was beautiful. 

pulling away, anakin rested his head against obi-wan’s once more.

“i love you, anakin.”

hearing that set the younger’s heart aflame, his blue eyes never leaving obi-wan’s stormy ones. he wanted to lose himself in those eyes forever. “you promise?” he asked, a shy smile gracing his lips. 

“with everything i am,” obi-wan answered whole-heartedly. 

anakin, unable to hold back any longer, pulled obi-wan into a tight hug. all worries forgotten, anakin knew he was safe in obi-wan’s arms, so that’s where he stayed, protected in their love.

**Author's Note:**

> please send me feedback!!! also come scream about obikin with me on [tumblr](https://leaffall15.tumblr.com/)


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